Subcontractors II

More pan-European training projects = more non-English delivery = more hassles with bilingual subcontractors.  Good problems to have but problems nonetheless.

Last week it was a 'pilot' with a German team in Munich.  The rub was that this time the client sourced their own external trainer to deliver my programme.  Nice guy, 20+ years in sales training and pharma industry experience before that.  Was it ever going to be a decent fit?  Not even close.

Why is it that no 3rd-party trainer can stick to the script?  Every one of them is somehow compelled to 'add additional value' with some banal personal touch right at the beginning of my programme.  There appears to be two main reasons for this: -

1. The trainer needs to start with some element of content that he knows and trusts before diving into all this new stuff belonging to the pushy Australian taking notes at the back of the room
2. Putting his own spin on things is the best way for the trainer to make himself irreplaceable

As the guy who has to deliver a product that's replicable in any European context your motivation for dicking around with my stuff is pretty much irrelevant to me but even so reason 1. is more excusable than 2.  There's a case to be made for you getting comfortable in your own skin as you start, whereas trying to make yourself irreplaceable is always going to piss me off.  And I'm always going to have enough influence over the roll-out for you to want to keep me onside.

What really confounds me is the hackneyed nature of the stuff they crowbar into the precious first minutes of my carefully crafted programme.  Lately it's been decades-old vision intended to soften up the participants with some message about how nobody-knows-everything-so-everybody-can-learn-something-from-today or all-the-best-sportspeople-still-practice-the-basics or whatever.  It's a video for Christ's sake; the sort of one-way stimulus that hasn't worked in a high school or university in years.

By introducing himself in this way the trainer is making a performance error so basic that no stand-up comic makes it after even a few months: you're apologising for being there.  Worse, not only are you starting on the defensive by pleading a case for being listened to, you're outsourcing that rationalisation to a fucking video.

At the heart of this rant is a recognition that few trainers see the world as I do.  I doubt that my oh-so-experienced German colleague considers himself a performer.  Which might be why he made so many annoying technical errors such as sitting down whilst speaking and allowing the focus in the room to splinter during group discussions.  To be fair he only lost me completely when he introduced his collection of novelty sound effects (motorbike starting, jet taking off, air raid siren).

I'm guessing that even in German there's a difference between amusing and bemusing your audience.

Subcontractors

Like most Australians I am cheerfully, obnoxiously monolingual.  It's remarkable how infrequently this is an impediment to working in Europe.  Not one of my clients speaks less than 'business English' and most not just fluently but eloquently.  One of the great luxuries of my provenance is that I can travel the world assuming that the other guy has the skills to bridge the language gap.

Only when I'm asked to train a European non-English sales team is my (lack of) language a barrier.  Asian and Middle Eastern sales teams do not insist that suppliers like me are fluent in their language.  Conversely, a salesperson contentedly living and working in Lyon or Nuremberg with no ambition to climb the corporate ladder has no more need for English than her Sydney-based colleague has for French or German.  European delivery is literally the only time when I'm expected to do the heavy lifting in terms of language and on my own I fail miserably.

In consultancy terms, I have a capability problem: I'm forced to subcontract the face-to-face component of such projects to other suppliers.  Readers of this Blog won't be surprised that I find this hard.  The self-reliance, not so say solipsism, of my Headcount: 1 work life means I rarely have to play nicely with others.

Earlier in the month I delivered a programme simultaneously in French, German, Italian and Spanish.  Well, four terrific bilingual trainers did the delivery whilst I shuttled from room to room giving a somewhat adequate impression of being in change.  It all went off as planned and we all left with reputations enhanced.

Drastically short timelines had forced me to recruit the trainers en masse.  Someone I trust at another consultancy gave me a strong recommendation and that trainer brought in three colleagues.  In an instant my capability issue was solved.  However, from the outset the four of them made it abundantly clear that they had a wealth of shared experiences and I was the outsider.  For some reason this bothered me and it took a while for me to pinpoint the reason why.  After all I spend my professional life as an outsider interacting with large groups who share many experiences not the least of which is working for the same company in identical roles.

My disquiet stemmed from the fact that my dealing with them oscillated between that of individual suppliers each requiring my undivided attention and a cartel negotiating en bloc.  And they were a cartel.  There was an awareness, subconscious perhaps, that my ability to replace any or all of them  was practically zero, especially as the project had to be delivered so early in the new year.  The role of shop steward was shared around; at different times each declared that he or she was speaking on behalf of the group.  A picture emerged near constant back-channel communication over my project's shortcomings.

No man likes being talked about behind his back.

Then less than a week before delivery I was forced into an across-the-board financial renegotiation resulting in a fee increase that pushed the project to the verge of unprofitability.  I later discovered that the shop steward in question wasn't actually speaking for the four but the implication that he was improved his bargaining position at the time.  By outsourcing the recruitment of the team I took myself out of the loop.

Perhaps part of the problem was that without an English language component of the project my prominence was lessened.  My main job was running interference for the the trainers in the presence of a less-than-perfect client.  It's not easy to be a coach when you're used to being a player.

One of the major failings of my career has been my inability to develop other trainers to a point where clients see them as interchangeable with me.  My personal brand has always been too strong and I've taken a perverse pleasure in that.  Yet without that facility my company's capacity for growth is limited by my Headcount: 1 diary.  Right now my earnings are entirely tied to what I can charge for my own time.  Learning to work effectively with subcontractors is an obvious first step in moving beyond this limitation.

I'm 43 years old and I cannot do this job in this way forever. 

You might be a bad client if...

Are you a bad client?  Maybe you are but just don't know it yet.   From time to time we all need a little help in recognising our shortcomings.  As the joke goes, everyone thinks they're funny and no one thinks they're bad in bed, so here's a handy spotter's guide.

You might be a bad client if you...

1. Get your advertising agency to write your internal emails for you
2. Insist that the entire project team sit in on four-hour teleconferences that are really just a procession of one-on-one conversations between you and individual suppliers
3. Openly refer to your co-workers as idiots who cannot think for themselves
4. Don't bother printing out materials ahead of teleconferences then complain that you can't open the PDF file on your iPhone and then insist that the tabled multipage documents be read aloud
5. Talk to your legal department before picking up a phone to discuss a problem in person
6. Demand a discounted fee for the privilege of working with you for the first time
7. Refer to internal processes by acronyms and individuals by their first names and get annoyed when asked to explain what you mean
8. Respond to verbal questions via email and emailed questions verbally
9. Schedule daylong meetings  the week before Christmas that start at 9am (and so require people to fly in the night before, thus spending more time away from family) and then fail to produce a daylong agenda
10. Let relationships between suppliers fester to the point where turf wars develop
11. Demand 'world's best practice' proposals where cost, timing and every other conceivable parameter are ignored because you can't be bothered thinking through the inevitable and necessary limitations your company will impose on the project from the outset
12. Insist on having a personal but not necessarily amicable relationship with subcontractors thus disrupting your suppliers' delivery chains
13. Fail to master MS-Outlook and so force everyone around you to second guess whether your hour-long meeting will take fifteen minutes or half a day
14. Identify a non-problem, insist that it be solved and then accuse everyone else of acting like old maids when it doesn't come to pass
15. Can't imagine how salespeople of different nationalities might just get along over drinks and dinner
16. Aren't really sure if you're negotiating in £ or € (seriously)

Glad to have that off my chest.

Synthesis v Analysis

Synthesis (n) The combination of ideas to form a theory or system: the synthesis of intellect and emotion in his work, the ideology represented a synthesis of certain ideas.  Often contrasted with analysis 

Analysis (n) detailed examination of the elements of structure of something, typically as a basis for discussion or interpretation: statistical analysis / an analysis of popular culture.  The process of separating something into its constituent elements

In sales/marketing synthesis is an ad hoc project whereas analysis tends to be an ongoing process.

It's fine to use a consultancy for synthesis because it's ad hoc and a decision needs to be made before the project begins.  It is defined and therefore manageable.  But any organisation that automatically outsources all of its analysis work is abdicating responsibility for anything like realtime decision-making.

When budgets are tight and analysis budgets are cut back then decisions are either made too late or without sufficient information or not at all.  Consultants like me need to be in the synthesis game.

Vision v. expediency

We're chasing print deadlines for the Sydney show. This was the week that we hit the place on the timeline where our hitherto irresistible uncompromising artistic vision crashed into an immovable fact: -

no artwork = no poster = no audience

Losing 'week one' of an eight-week project line is still a week lost. We've been kidding ourselves that we'll make it up somehow but this week's compromise is as inevitable as it was predictable.

Every time a supplier or client or collaborator or whoever tells me to stop quibbling and just be happy with the latest draft I feel a little less like the guy with the artistic vision and a little more like everyone else.

Unsolicited approaches

Here's a quick tip for anyone starting out in the field of personal banking: if you insist upon an appointment with a new client have a better opening question than: -

Are you busy at the moment?

And best you don't follow that inanity with: -

I've asked for this meeting so that I can give you my business card.

Brand building

Tonight is Press Night, a necessary part of the long and arduous task of building a brand for a show in the crowded London market.

One of the main reasons why I opted for a straight three-week run was to differentiate Scenes from Communal Living from the seemingly interchangeable weekly, fortnightly and entirely ad hoc comedy nights on offer around London. It's nigh-on impossible to build a presence when you're only in a venue occasionally. Brand building is also the reason why I engaged a theatrical PR company. We've already had three mentions in the free press and we're one of this week's 'Critic's Pick's' in Time Out.

Whilst it would be nice if this investment translated into immediate sales I'm not counting on it. The value is really no more quantifiable than the posters and fliers or the (paid-for) Facebook ad campaign. Some would say that I'm dodging the genuinely hard question of value-for-money in advertising / PR spend to which I'll revert to William Lever (who founded the company that later became Unilever, my first employer): -

I know half my advertising is wasted. I just don't know which half

The early bird and all that

In the last few days I've received confirmation that I'll be staging at least two shows (and possibly as many as four) at this year's Edinburgh Fringe.

An annual gripe-cum-conversational bonding topic amongst Fringe performers is the dearth and therefore expense of decent accommodation. Much of the joy of the event stems from Edinburgh being quite a small city but that means that demand for flats will always outweigh supply.

This morning I went online and started emailing each of the five the accommodation brokers recommended by the Festival organisers. Before I'd finished writing email no. 3 my phone rang. It was a personal response to email no. 1. The woman quickly and efficiently reviewed my needs and then wonderfully put my mind at ease with the following: -

• I was in their system
  
• I was ahead of the pack with sourcing accommodation
  
• I would be absolutely fine if I revisited the issue in early April as many properties weren't listed until then

Why would I bother with emails 3, 4 and 5?

Su problema, mi problema

Like everyone else in Britain my plans for the day were rendered unfeasible by the worst snowfalls in 18 years. Right now I'm supposed to be boarding a flight for Oslo but Heathrow is closed for the day. Perhaps I'll have better luck tomorrow but somehow I doubt it.

So I've spent much of the day dealing with two suppliers: my travel agent and my printer-cum-courier. Given that I have longstanding 'account managers' within both companies I thought that each understood my business pretty well; that I'm self-employed and that if I'm not working I'm not getting paid. I need to be delivering a programme in Oslo tomorrow*.

The travel agent kicked into gear immediately. They checked direct flights out of every possible airport and then every conceivable permutation of European connections. It was all to no avail because the UK has closed up shop for the day and quite possibly the week. Still, when I spoke to my client I could honestly say that I'd left no stone unturned in trying to make tomorrow's meeting.

Su problema, mi problema

The printer was less helpful. They had assembled a pile of documents I need for the meeting but they couldn't get them to me as we couldn't find a mutually convenient drop-off point. The overwhelming impression was that it was all too hard. In the end they simply declared that they couldn't help me and that I'd better arrange my own courier service. This despite the fact that after a well-publicised 2004 merger they are arguably the best-known courier company around.

Su problema, su problema

It's all easy on the easy days. It's on the hard days that we need help.

* And take a moment to imagine the guffaws from my Norwegian client when I said that Britain was closed on account of a 30cm snowfall...

Professionalism

Seth Grodin on professionalism. I flatter myself in seeing this as another angle on what I was talking about recently.

Professionalism has a different connotation in the world of stand-up comedy. You're doing a 'professional gig' when you get paid (when you're starting out this happens rarely). You get to call yourself a 'professional stand-up comic' when your comedy pays your bills. Every professional comic I know brands themselves thus with pride:-

I made it. I turned my dream into a reality. I get paid to do something I love doing

I suppose that this is the stuff of modern life: to be the guy who followed his dreams. Still, I'm reminded of a quip made by Marko Mustac, a good friend and an amazing performer and director of improv theatre: -

If you want to get amateurs to behave properly you accuse them of being 'unprofessional'

Works every time. Just don't try it on actual professionals.

Rent-seeking

I am sitting in an airport having just left a 'wrap-up' meeting at the conclusion of a very successful project.  The client was effusive and immediately looking for new areas where we can work together.  The problem is that the two projects where they next need external help don't match my skill set.  I have three choices: -

1. Take on a project and convince myself that I'll learn quickly enough to deliver what they need
2. Take on a project and find a 3rd-Party supplier who will deliver the work to the client but on my behalf
3. Explain that their needs fall outside of my competencies and decline the work
   

As tempting as the alternatives are I chose option 3.  My personal brand is too valuable for me to try and improvise my way through a major project (option 1.)

It is option 2. that I want to explore here.  If I really have my client's best interests at heart then I will either say nothing at all or I'll put him in touch with the right people and then get out of the way (which is what I did).

Still the temptation to manipulate proceedings so that everything goes through me is strong; if I bring buyers and sellers together then why shouldn't I get a piece of the action?  This is what agents do for a living right?  Essentially it's a version of what David Ricardo described as rent-seeking: -

The extraction of uncompensated value from others without making any contribution to productivity

I am not saying that this is a bad thing per se, it just doesn't fit my business model.  I am no good at turning up to meetings where I don't have a specific role, which is what agents essentially do.  Also, I want my value proposition to be based on what I know rather than who.  Finally, it would place my reputation for quality entirely in the hands of others.

Some would say that I'm possibly 'leaving money on the table' but at least I know my personal brand is protected and that is worth a lot more to me in the longer term.

Beware of 'mates rates'

Let's say I need a new website.  A friend has a web designer friend who has just gone freelance and he gets in touch.  We grab a coffee to chat about what I need and what he offers.  The conversation moves onto the obvious common ground of the vicissitudes of self-employment; there is bonding, even a sense that we're kindred souls.  Inevitably, in the name of our new friendship, he offers to do the work for me at 'mates rates'.

Superficially it makes sense: he's new to self-employment and not all that busy right now.  Thinking aloud he says that there seems to be a synergy between us.  He muses that maybe we could even look to collaborate on projects in the future.

I haven't said a word.  I shouldn't have even agreed to meet for coffee.

Even though he doesn't know it, the deal on the table is that he'll sell me some surplus time in order to buy access to my client list.

What do I get?  Because we're 'mates' I don't get to shop around and compare suppliers because that would imply disloyalty.  I don't get to change specs as my needs change because any move on my part to expand the project will be discouraged: he gets no additional return on the deal for any extra work I need done.

Worst of all I lose the right to insist that deadlines are met.  I know that if a 'real' client comes along I'll immediately drop down the priority list.  I'm left in the perverse position of hoping he's not that good a designer because I don't want him to be busy!

By agreeing to a bargain I give up all the advantages of being 'the client'.  I don't get to expect the level service that I give as a supplier.  The absolute best I can expect of the deal is a decent website done at cost plus a favor owed.  The worst is very, very ugly.

So I don't accept 'mates rates'.  Not from lawyers, accountants, web designers, graphic designers, writers, printers, anyone.

I don't accept them and I certainly don't offer them.